Best Patch Find 2022

 Yes indeedy, it has been decreed that there is no obvious outright winner for the best patch find this year and so for the first time in ages we will have to endure the misery of a public vote. No doubt the usual suspect will do his best to b*gg*r up the results but such is life. Remember, as always, the voting question is "which of these species would you most like to find on your patch?" 

So, the runners and riders in no particular order are featured below:

In One - Shakey reckons Dartford Warbler was his best patch find at Da Cleefs but what say you?

In Two - Basil weighs in with a quality find in the form of a female Lesser Scaup, but is it glamourous enough to win?

One of these ducks is apparently a lesser scaup but not shure which one....

In Three - They didn't even bother to ID it to species level, so can the Proclaimer's claim of Bean Goose be a serious contender?

In Four - Big Royzah stumbled across a Rosefinch as his best patch find on the Don, but does it blow your trumpet?

In Five - The only serious contender really, and a kwality score for Seppy at Galley Head - you really should be voting for Western Subalpine Warbler

Vote for me please

In Six - He really shouldn't get two cracks at it, but Basil's two Fea's-type Petrels off Squince beats the pants off Lesser Scaup so we'd best include it really

Basil celebrates his big find

In Seven - ahem, well, poor Derek didn't want to be left out but Pheasant is the best he could come up with - it wasnt even a full fat patch tick so there's very little* chance of this winning, no matter how many votes it gets

So thats it - the remaining riders didn't feel their efforts were worthy enuff to enter a contender - so be it - better luck next year.

To cast your vote, simply click here

 *Pheasant will not win - use your vote elsewhere!

And the winner is...

The votes are in, counted, re counted and checked again because you just can't be too safe, and we have a winner. Bonaparte's gull has taken Ol' Snowy for Seppy at Galley. This also means that Ol' Snowy remains at Galley for the third year (FFS), saving anyone a trip to the post office. Bonaparte's gull is no stranger to winning either, having previously won on Blackdog in the days before Statto was driven south. 

Some votes yesterday

Thanks to everyone who voted, although some of you do need to get out more (would rather find a quail over a Baird's sandpiper or a Blyth's reed warbler?) We specially thank those who voted two or even three times - you know who you are, and we've a fair idea too...  #StopTheCount

Seppy entrapment shocker overshadows patch birding

Well, it's been a fairly uneventful month or so on patch, although I have managed to add the occasional year tick to the tally. Nothing overly exciting, of course (this is The Mall, after all). Dabchick on the lake, long-tailed tit by the pub (somewhere I may spend a bit more time during this year's patch challenge... *HIC!*), and a hen harrier from the front garden being perhaps the most notable.

When all tallied up the recent lack of activity puts me on 71.54% for the year. Which is OK, until you realise that there's bugger all left to get until the swallows arrive back. FFS!

Oh, and I almost forgot the green sandpiper I had down by the lake again... which puts me in with a shout of best patch find again this time around :-).

Speaking of which, the more observant among you may have noticed I chose to maintain a dignified silence during Seppy's outburst against my integrity in the wake last month's "vote". But the truth will out, as they say. Here's unequivocal evidence that Blatter was angling for controversy from the get go:

Entrapment! Case dismissed... roll on the next vote.

Faulty Fits Up Seppy in Vote-rigging Farce

Yes indeedy, folks. It turns out that the Executive Committee has turned up convincing evidence that Basil Faulty may have rigged the recent Best Patch Find 2015 poll! Barely has the dust settled on Seppy's mantelpiece when evidence has reached us indicating that Mr Faulty demonstrated clear intent to twist the voting in his favour. Here he is just after the poll opened talking to Seppy about how Reg's Paddyfield Warbler wouldn't win before hinting that he might be able to alter the result...

The conversation continues, while Basil gets a bit more confident, goading Seppy that his votes are unlimited...

Faulty then gloats that its the perfect crime, since everyone will assume that any vote japery will be all down to Seppy...

With a final taunting jibe at Seppy's powerless er power to stop him, Faulty sends a final taunt er I mean jibe before leaving to put his dastardly plans into action...

Of course luckily this story has a happy ending, as democracy won out in the end. In a bizarre twist of fate, the house beaming Basil's wifi signal to him burnt down just hours prior to the poll closing, meaning that he was unable to vote. Coincidence? Of course! Even Seppy wouldn't stoop that low!

Old Snowy's 2015 Best Patch Find Poll

Yes indeedy - whistle up the dogs and piss on the fire, for it is time once more to vote for the Best Patch Find, with the eager winner getting to have Old Snowy on his/her mantelpiece for a full 12 month (subject to delivery, natch).

Old Snowy yesterday

To vote simply look left I mean right and then click on which ever species you'd most like to find on your patch, if you have one. And if not, then imagine you have a patch and imagine which species you'd most like to find - simple!

If you're on a mobile device you may need to scroll to the bottom of the site & click on web view to see the side bar on the right, where the poll is.

The poll is open for a week.

Just bear in mind that Old Snowy has been trapped in North-east Scotland for the last 5 years and wouldn't mind stretching his wings & trying life somewhere else!

Vote-rigging

Hey - how come my pintail at Galley suddenly has 17 votes? Don't tell me the voting has been rigged again? FFS!

Fix!

Wow! 70 votes! A new record by a country mile - not sure we've ever got above 15 before! Unfortunately, a recent probe into allegations of vote-rigging & multiple voting has revealed large scale vote-rigging and multiple voting! Who'd have thought?!?

Yes indeed, I can reveal some of the evidence which is quite revealing. A certain Mr Proclaimer, who no doubt wishes to remain anonymous, send me an email on 12th Jan, as follows...

"With 2 days to go I see Bonaparte’s Gull is still a bit behind. I would feel bad if it did not win as it is a great find. Are you happy that it should win and beat our poor offerings? I can supply a few votes in it’s favour if you are. We need to be in agreement though as I don’t want your wryneck taking advantage of my good nature."

Mr Blatter would like to point out that at this stage in proceeding, he had only voted once, and not for the wryneck! However, the most damning phrase used above "I can supply a few votes in its's favour" positively reeks of corruption and illicitness (is that a word?)

In later emails, Mr Proclaimer also proclaimed that he had "just given a brown paper bag stuffed full of used banknotes to someone who voted for your wryneck", before things took a turn for the worse with "Can you do anything about a swing to redpoll?" and a while later "Hey, as if by magic, a late surge in redpoll!"

When "voting" began to gather pace for the redpoll, Mr Proclaimer confessed he was now powerless to change the result "I have changed the votes that i have control over so can do nothing else". The whole thing began to snowball, and it became apparent that someone else was now running the show.

By pure coincidence, it turns out that Mr Blatter may have mentioned the vote to a certain well-known computer hacker and redpoll fancier from West Cork, Mr X around this time. His response, after assessing the hi-tech voting system was "that voting widget restricts you to one vote using browser cookies -- lots of ways around that." and shortly after another more worrying message "You is stomin' ahead mate ;)  I'll stop now... let normal statistical fluctuations take their toll."

By next day, it was clear that all was not well, and correspondents were getting increasingly edgey, no doubt as the big money behind this whole debacle started to flex its papery muscles. Blatter by this stage couldn't help himself, despite having still only voted once at this stage "that fuckin quail is back in the lead again!" Mr X from Connonagh had the answer though "Balls... I'll just put out a "get your vote in for the find of the year on the International Patch List Challenge blog" on the Ireland's Wildlife twitter feed... won't influence the voting in any way... just send more people... maybe... if anyone pays attention...that's not cheating... that's just sending traffic to the blog, and sharing relevant, wildlife related content with people who are genuinely interested... surely that's OK?"

[Ed- "wildlife-related content? what? this shite?]

This was followed up by a slightly more threatening question " The Redpoll has nada... you want it out in front then?" and shortly "mealy redpoll now on 8 votes!" and then "And de 'poll hits de front!" When asked directly if he was intervening in the voting, Mr X replied "Me? They can check the IP addresses -- different UK based addresses... only legit votes... nothing dodgy from Ireland" before adding "15 all -- anyone for tennis?"

The most telling text received was just minutes after the voting closed "so the mealy clinched it by... er... 9 votes then...oops!"

All in all, (as if anyone actually cares anyway) it turns out that the vote has been a total sham! Still, 70 votes is a pretty good effort I reckon. So without further ado, may I be the first to congratulate Statto for winning the Best Patch Find 2011 with Bonaparte's Gull, and commiserations to Bushveld's redpoll for not winning anything!